Sunday, June 15, 2008 @11:38 PM
hello.
i have found my gayish little self back again today. :D
so i decided to reopen this blog. (if you hadn't realise, it had been inaccessible for some days, except to hp. haha)
but i can't retain my original blog address anymore.
i don't know why stupid blogger says that a dash is not allowed at the back. >: (
haha so i have to make it a little bit longer.
i will never ever change the name "invariant" cos it has a special significance to me. there is a story behind it by the way.
haha and as the word itself suggests, it is invariable.
and i'm going to change my contact number soon too once it gets activated.
hmm everything seems like a brand new start for me.
the past few days had been inundated with unhappy and depressing stuffs.
i was so downrightly depressed that i suspected i was suffering from depression.
it may not be due to any specific thing which happened that made me sad. it may be just simple things accumulated that triggered everything off. all my past and long forgotten wounds were awakened.
it prompted me to not go for the famine camp which was supposed to take place these two days.
kissed my 30 dollars goodbye just like that.
haiz but it's worth it la. didn't want to go there and appear emo either.
spent the two days, well, recovering?
yesterday, i wanted to go out somewhere to walk, alone, intendedly.
but in the end, the whole family just tagged along. ergh
at first went cwp with my mother and sister. and my mother treated us to kfc when i was supposed to starve like how i would if i had gone for the camp. :/
shopped abit before my father came and drove us to suntec for the pc show.
then my brother joined us after his volleyball training, looking rather filthy. there were like black marks smeared across his cheeks and he didn't even know. -.-
then ate dinner when it was already near midnight to celebrate early Father's Day.
i was supposed to starve! -.-today i woke up at l plus in the afternoon.
wowthen the rest of the day was spent watching tv and doing nothing.
which means i didn't make use of my weekend to mug at all. x)
my weekdays were spent revising maths. i managed to finish revising all the topics by now but haven't started practising yet. haha
so, my next week will be spent revising my three remaining subjects. erm seems rather taxing but i'm not really panicking yet. cos nothing is impossible to me when it comes to studying.
errr.... that's my excuse la.
haha
hmm.. i feel i'm back to normal now.
after all those struggles and reflections, some of my perspectives have changed for sure.
i have learnt to take things easy.
don't take things for granted. don't expect things to really happen the way you want them to be. we can't control fate after all.
and whenever you feel that you are trapped alone in your own plight, still do keep a slight belief, no matter how shaky it may seems, that there is always still a somebody, just somebody out there, who cares for you.
:)
this is how i felt at the end of the day.