i have just learnt an important lesson today.
i realised that sometimes, being too honest does not do you any good. instead, it brings you so much agony and unleashes a chain of unnecessary conflicts. D:
i shan't be so honest again should i encounter a similar event next time. but now even the thought of deceiving someone, esp someone close to me, already makes me feel so uneasy...
argh.
i feel damn happy with myself!
just yesterday, i finally managed to secure a job in quite an unexpectedly swift manner after days of job hunting and i also accomplished something which i thought i would not be capable enough of doing, that is, to tutor a pri 5 kid on behalf of caishi.
i did it! woohoo! :D
i'm glad i had made the right choice.
and now, i'm still exploring for new opportunities. :)
and yesterday, i was touring around the basement of ion orchard with nive for a short while when someone shouted out my name.
it was simin!! she happened to be working at a jap cake counter there.
omg it was surprising to see her.
hadn't seen her for quite some time. i think the last time i saw her was at the cca fair in aj last year.. :)
i could sense something weird and i tried not to think too much.
but it still made me feel kinda sad for the rest of the day, destroying my originally joyous mood.
so much innocence back then, not so innocent now.
there's always a time when you are forced to a situation where you have to make some difficult decisions.
i'm faced with one such situation right now.
it feels so uncertain if you are making the right decision, if you would regret making that decision years later, if all the sacrifices you would be making along the way as a result of that decision of yours would be all worth it.
so insecure. so terrified. so lost.
i have two options now.
one, shy away from my problems and revert back to my own comfort zone like an useless tortoise.
two, be bold and take the risk...
i have not come to a decision yet.
but i know that sometimes, all it takes is to simply take a big step forward and you will get a brighter view of life.
tmr's going to be such a long day. hope everything turns out smoothly.
a colourful brand new layout for a fresh new start of the year? :D
i was editing my blog template when i thought my archive list is getting a little too long.
so i initially wanted to delete all the older posts but i ended up reading some of my most ancient posts instead, which dated all the way back when i was in sec 2.
it felt kinda weird at first reading what i blogged about back then. the posts overflowed with lots of childish expressions and numerous grammar mistakes here and there but at the same time, every single one of it gave a hint of how much fun and happiness i had back then.
all the things that happened may not be big things but it was these small little things that pieced together into the much larger perfect assemblage of fond memories i had.
once i blogged about a short convo between cheryl and i. and now as i read it again like a total stranger, that small piece of lost memory had found its way back and i laughed out loud.
" me: why are you sweating so much?
cheryl: cos i'm cold?
me: huh? you mean you sweat when you feel cold?
cheryl: omg gay! you actually believed it?! "
yeah it was these small little things... :)
and there was this post which was never published. it signified my inner most feelings and reflections as my sec 2 life came to an end. heart-warming i felt, as i stumbled across it once again.
it says [unedited]:
" so the year is ending alr. : ( i will miss the classroom and the specs stand! i will miss lots of ppl too! esp cheryl and mylene! cos i dun think we might all be in the same class next year. : (
was talking to cheryl ytdy. i agree with her that many things happened this year which made our year in sec two so eventful, full of sweet and sour memories. i kind of miss those days in school, struggling. haha. like cheryl and mylene always ganged up to go against me, both parties argue for their own rights, made me always end up giving in or else i will die from severe heart attack. even jiehui once thought me and cheryl quarrelled. XD and of course i will never forget cheryl for started calling me gay and went around spreading the gay theory like some kind of sars disease, which ruined my whole entire life. haha.
both of us seriously can't rmb how we actually got to noe each other this year. she told me last year there was sth happened which somehow made the both of us connected. once during band prac, ms sia was testing one by one. when it was my turn, she saw cheryl's that usual when-bored-or-tired-become-dao-ed face and asked her why she wasn't appreciating my music. she answered,'im appreciating!' haha. yeah. i rmb there was such a thing but i didn't noe she was the one who dunno how to appreciate my music! : ) i guess this is sort of fate issit??
i was same class as mylene since last year. hah we weren't actually that close although she just was just sitting one person away from me! haha but she was still my first sitting partners in 2G after all. : ) i won't forget how i got irritated by her at times and she got irritated by me. haha. it's kind of funny when u see her always having such a big reaction over small little things and im always the victim. : (
i rmb pris and jas were the first two fellow classmates i get to noe!
that time...
me liked hebe, pris was in love with james, jas loved brad pitt!
now...
me still like hebe, pris's crazy over ??( not sure who's the latest one..), jas loves daniel wu!
hmm.. looks like im the most zhuan qing one! XD
..................
"
it's a pity that i am not in contact with most of my sec 2 friends anymore.. :(
i wish, i wish for a time machine that could ferry me back to the good old days right now.
but i know it's impossible for me to experience all these all over again.
and so,
my conclusion is,
the archive list shall remain that long
to keep these old memories alive. :)
i wish, i wish for a time machine that could ferry me back to the good old days right now.
but i know it's impossible for me to experience all these all over again.
and so,
my conclusion is,
the archive list shall remain that long
to keep these old memories alive. :)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
spent the last day of 2009 yesterday counting down outside, for the very first time in my life, at vivo with my badminton mates, caishi and kaijun. :D
although the day was peppered with some mishaps here and there, it was still packed with lots of fun, joy, laughter and excitement as we dinnered away at bosses and finally watched the channel 8 countdown event live at the amphitheatre.
the performances were great and i really enjoyed myself very much.
and most exhilaratingly,
my first few hours of 2010 were marked with
-finally seeing jeanette aw in person and her impressive live dance segment! (we were seated at an ideal distance from the stage which allowed us to get quite a clear view of what was happening onstage.) and also many other artistes.
-posing photo with my no 1 idol, hebe! :D
-staring out blankly into the sea and admiring the night view. :)
-and literally running our sweat out to catch the last train home.. haha!
time flies unbelievably fast.
all the things that had happened in 2009, good or bad, happy or sad, i'm going to leave them all behind.
2010 will be a year when i will embark on a new chapter in my life, with much more freedom and stronger need for self independence.
i was curious and asked kaijun and caishi what their new year wishes are.
i have just a simple one.
that is, to learn many new things and more importantly, to live happily.
because no matter what you want to achieve, it's only when you are truly happy with what you are doing that makes all your efforts worthwhile.
happiness makes the world goes round :D